Impatient Tai Chi Student

I’m not a good student.

I don’t practise hard enough.

I don’t practise dilligent enough.

And when I perform in front of my teacher, I ask all sorts of questions, more questions than actions.

I think my teacher knows I’m not practising enough.

I’m impatient to learn, but since I’m not getting anywhere soon or fast, it gets demotivating after a while.

I wish my teacher was stricter.

But then, he won’t be my teacher if he were stricter.

He will just be another strict teacher.

I would rather my teacher knows his stuff.

A teacher who knows his stuff beats a teacher who doesn’t.

If I were to buy a car, I would love to own a hybrid car. I believe it is a good interim solution to car ownership and environmentally friendly.

Imagine my horror when I saw someone driving Lexus hybrid while flooring the accelerator.

I don’t know what got the driver so impatient.

All I know is, if you own a hybrid car and drive like a mad man, there is no need to buy a hybrid. You will still clock up the same fuel consumption. You’re still causing rage on the road.

Let’s just hope you won’t regret your impatience.

I have been perfecting my virtual environment lately.

I am impatient to get things done, so having an environment which supports my impatience is very important.

I want to be in an environment where I can work continuously in a seamless manner, without fuss.

I want to move from one piece of work to another without any distraction.

I want to be able to stop worrying about whether I have the latest software update, or if I could improve the workflow a bit better.

I did all these, only to realise that I stopped doing actual work.

I stopped contributing.

I stopped creating value.

I am doing all the things that I want to get done, except those things that really needs to get done.

I am reminded that there is no perfect system.

There is no environment that will never change.

The environment can always be improved.

But improvement in environment needs to be balanced with actual work.

Without work, the perfect environment is useless.

I am impatient. I know that now.

I have been impatient for a very long time. And I am in denial for a very long time as well. You see, I thought I was patient. Whenever I am with someone else, I can appear to be very patient. Because someone else will not affect me very much. Until someone makes a mistake that affects me.

But that’s ok.

The first step towards coping with impatience, is to recognise that you are impatient. If you don’t recognise impatience yourself, you won’t be able to see your impatience. You won’t be able to hear your impatience.

No matter how much other people tell you that you’re impatient, you won’t be able to feel that you’re impatient until something bad happens that’ll make you regret your impatience.

Recognise your impatience. Don’t regret it.